Whenever Smart Ass attacks, choose a card name. If defending player has no cards with the chosen name in their hand, they may reveal their hand. If they don't reveal their hand, Smart Ass can't be blocked this turn.
Search your library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land.
Flying, trampleAt the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library and balance it on your body.When a balanced card falls or touches another balanced card, sacrifice Phyrexian Librarian.
Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Activate only once each turn.
As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +0/+1 and has first strike.As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0.
As Zombie Fanboy enters, choose an artist.Whenever a permanent with art by the chosen artist is put into a graveyard, put two +1/+1 counters on Zombie Fanboy.
As Gluetius Maximus enters, an opponent chooses one of your fingers. (Thumbs are fingers, too.)When the chosen finger isn't touching Gluetius Maximus, sacrifice Gluetius Maximus.
Choose target opponent and target creature they control. You and that player have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of that creature.
Deal Damage deals 4 damage to any target.Gotcha — If an opponent says "deal" or "damage," you may say "Gotcha!" When you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand.
Skip your untap step.At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents.Pay ½ life: Exile the top card of your library face down. Put that card into your hand at the beginning of the next end step.
As Six-y Beast enters, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast after it enters.
